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Empty Nesters?

dana2day

Empty Nesters.  People keep asking us how it’s going as new “empty nesters,” I say “great”, but inside my head I am thinking how much I don’t like the term “empty nesters.”  It implies that our home is empty….”containing nothing; not filled or occupied; lacking meaning or sincerity.”

It’s so…sad….and quiet.  For 30 years our home was filled with a lot of noise, a lot of laughter, a lot of activity, a lot of messiness, a lot of love.  There was school, sports, concerts, shopping, trips to the doctor or ER, broken bones, proms, college hunting, more shopping, camps, friends, wedding planning, the list goes on and on.  Then it was over. We’ve raised three strong-willed, beautiful, and active girls, who are now women, married to sweet young men, with families of their own. Thirty years, people.  That’s half our lives keeping our people alive.  Providing.  Nurturing.  Making things happen for them.  Thinking of them 24/7.  Never ceasing to look out for their needs or their safety.  Seeing and being with them most every day.  Then it was over.  It ceased. It stopped. And yes, it is empty.  You out there reading this understand. Suddenly, you find yourself in new territory.  You can’t be all up in their business anymore.  You can’t be included in every aspect of their lives…..that would just be weird.  As much as I want to still be included in every aspect, I know that is not how things go in life.  And I don’t want to appear pathetic, so I try to stand back and not annoy them to death!  But it’s hard.

Empty has such a negative connotation.  I realize people are simply referring to the fact that we are back down to just the two of us.  But it sounds so sad when you look at the meanings of the word empty, for example, “lacking meaning”….”containing nothing”.  Yes.  The house stays cleaner than it has in 30 years.  I have redone two of the extra bedrooms and now have a guest room and a play room for the grandchildren.  But they are also spotless.  I’ve started a few “hobby” projects, but haven’t finished.  That writing I always wanted to do hasn’t happened.  I find myself going to Target or some other store, walking around, seeing things that they might like, or the grands might love.  You just can’t break the habits of 30 years and go cold turkey “empty nester.”

So today, I decided to change that title that seems to be hanging around too much. 
Instead of calling ourselves “empty nesters”…I think I will call it “Season 2.”  Season 1 was filled with being newlyweds, becoming parents, raising babies, exhaustion, parenting, pinching every penny, praying for wisdom, investing and pouring into the daughters God gave us.  Season 2 is now just my husband and I, trying to figure out what we want to do, taking a deep breath and doing it without necessarily thinking about the girls first. (like that will actually happen!)  It won’t be easy, but I’m willing to give it a try. 

So, here’s to Season 2 for The Armstrongs!

Encouragement, family, inclusion

Collateral Damage

dana2day

I was watching a movie recently.  It was an action movie about saving a ship of people from death.  There were men in the engine room area working furiously to try and solve the issues that seemed insurmountable.  Everything was happening so fast and a decision had to be made.  A button was pushed and the area was sealed off to hopefully stop the ship from sinking.  Something about sealing off the area.  All the men drowned as the water rose inside that engine room. The words collateral damage came to mind.  Maybe they said it in the movie, I’m not sure.   I have been chewing on those words for days now.  So here I sit at my laptop at 11:52pm, needing desperately to write out all the thoughts that have been swimming in my head for the last two hours.  Please don’t ask me what the name of the movie was, because I honestly cannot remember and I did not finish watching it.  Movies where people die senselessly disturb me.  Anyway.  I have been thinking about the fact that collateral damage happens all around us.  Whether it is in relationships, marriages, decisions, and yes, even in church.  I don’t think as Christians we intentionally make decisions, or do things to cause people to be collateral damage or be hurt, or even to be made to feel unnecessary but it happens.  I think, sometimes, we are so intent on doing what we believe God has called us to do, that we do not consider the affects our decisions and actions have on other people.  How many times have I made a decision, or chosen one person over another, neglected a relationship, or maybe just been insensitive with my words?  Even now as I type, I feel sick in thinking that I have caused someone to be hurt, feel ignored or invisible, cast aside, or to be disillusioned with being a part of a church family.  Lord, please forgive me if and when I have done this.  The words collateral damage may seem harsh.   But this is a harsh world.  I think, sometimes, as our sinful human nature desires its’ own way, we don’t consider how others will be affected.   Not intentionally.  I really don’t think it’s always intentional.  But it happens.  I think back on decisions I have made, or ideas I have had, and I cringe at the times I did not consider the effect on those around me, just because I felt like God was telling me to do something.  Which brings me to a series I have been watching called The Chosen.  It is a series following the ministry of Jesus.  It has sent me back to God’s Word over and over again, reading the details of different stories.  It has been amazingly accurate and true to what is written.  But by putting a visual representation to stories I have known most of my life, it has become even more real.  It has caused me to really think about the people involved and Jesus’ interaction with them.   From calling the apostles, delivering Mary Magdalene of demons, healing the lame man to raising Jairus’ daughter from the dead.  I was especially moved by Jesus’ interaction with the woman with the issue of blood.  He called her daughter.  With the apostles, Jesus personally called each one of them.  He knew their strengths and weaknesses, their gifts and their individual personalities.  He knew them.  And, He had plans for them.  He listened to them.  Sometimes using their ideas and sometimes not.  But never dismissing them.  He used them to change the world.  As Jesus was headed to Jairus’ house, He was surrounded by a crowd of people.  He was on a mission to save a little girl.  But when the woman, who had suffered with the issue of blood for twelve years, pushed in to just touch the hem of his garment, He knew.  He knew she was there.  He could have not allowed her to be healed, because he was headed to raise a little girl to life.  He was trying to get there as quickly as possible in the midst of the crowd of people, but He stopped.  He called out, knowing she was there and He stopped what He was doing to connect with her, to go one step further than healing her, to show her love, to show her she was seen. To call her daughter.  To show her she was important.  Valued.  She could have just been collateral damage.  Ignored and pushed aside as He went to do something important. No one would have cared or noticed.  But He was doing what God sent Him to do.  He was doing ministry. 

We are in a battle in this world, because as Christians, we are not of this world.  It’s tough.  We want to do the right thing.  We want to do what He has called us to do.  We want to make a difference.  But sometimes we get so focused on the mission, we miss the people around us who God may use in our lives to help us complete that mission.  Instead, they become collateral damage.  Not intentionally.  I don’t think most people who call themselves Christians would intentionally hurt others.  So yes, sometimes we unintentionally have people in our lives, in our ministry, in our calling that become collateral damage.  We are so intent on moving in a direction, we don’t even notice the hurt or the damage we have caused. For myself, I am praying God will make me more aware of my choices, my decisions, my conversations, and my actions, so that I do not cause anyone to be collateral damage.  I am asking God to make me aware and sensitive to other people.  Help me to discern who to listen to and who to connect with. I pray he helps me know when to listen and when to stay the course. In this world, God has called us to Him, and He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, and our gifts. He wants to use all of His children to share the gospel, to love, to connect, to include, to care, to encourage those around us in order to change the world.  Let us work together.  Let us listen to each other.  Let us be kind and considerate to each other.  Let us realize that all of us are important in furthering the kingdom of God in whatever way He has called and equipped each of us.  No one should be or feel like collateral damage in God’s family.

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Memories

dana2day

It’s Christmas morning…but the house is so quiet. I lay silently beneath warm covers, remembering the sounds of little feet running down the hallway, low murmurs of little girls voices drifting back to our room. Then, one chosen sister coming to our room asking if we are coming. We slowly get up, me wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and he slipping into shorts and a t-shirt. The glow of the Christmas tree fills the room and three sweet smiles and sleepy eyes surrounded by messy hair sit patiently in front of their pile of three gifts. Three gifts to remind them of why we celebrate this day. The day of our Savior’s birth. The day three very wise men, who travelled far to behold the prophesy fulfilled of the coming Messiah, brought three special gifts to baby Jesus. These precious three girls of ours know the meaning of those three gifts. Three gifts for them because we love them and because we also celebrate the gifts they are to us, given to us by a Savior who loves us. I never remember a complaint of there not being a mountain of gifts for them. They were always thrilled and satisfied with three gifts. They would squeal and wrap their sweet little girl arms around our necks and thank us. Then I thought about another mother over two thousand years ago, observing everything happening around her and storing up the moments in her heart. This morning sweet memories , stored up in my heart, flood back to me, warming my heart, and bringing a smile to my face as I imagine those same sweet little girls sitting in the soft glow of their own Christmas tree lights, watching their babies open three gifts this Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas everyone! Today is the day our King was born…..and the day we can store up all the memories in our hearts.

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Runaway

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We ran away on Thursday. We loaded our jeep (not the cool kind of jeep you may be thinking about, but a conservative, grown up Jeep Grand Cherokee). with water, snacks, pillows and our blankies (yes we are grandparents who have blankies!) and our suitcase. We drove exactly 54.8 miles and found our hiding place. We have spent three days doing nothing. We have slept in, sat on the balcony of our 9th floor condo and watched the silly people on the beach trying to act like it wasn’t cold or windy. We’ve watched t.v., napped, made chicken and rice while just talking about our family and where we are in life right now. We ventured out with no plan, just here and there, browsing shops and even finding a few Christmas gift goodies for the family. Then we walked on the beach, the wind whipping around us, and the cold sand getting between my toes. Tonight we went on a date to Big Mike’s, don’t you just love that name. It conjures up a vision of a big, football player sized guy, with a ball cap and an apron, grilling utensils in hand and a huge smile. I highly recommend it to everyone if you are in the Orange Beach area. We ate yummy food and watched the last quarter of the Alabama/Ole Miss game. We are currently sitting on the couch (I’m tapping away on my laptop) and we are watching a movie.

We needed a “run away” getaway. Life has been testing us. I’m not sure if I passed or not. So many situations causing stress, trying to make decisions, adjustments, compromises and transitions. We’ve come out on the other side a little wiser, a little stretched, a bit exhausted. But the last three days have been good medicine. I feel I can return to real life, put on my big girl panties and deal with whatever life has next for us. We know we are blessed beyond measure. God has been so good to us. I feel He is doing something in our lives, and I hope now that we’ve cleared our heads and rested we can see clearly what He wants to do in our lives in and through us.

answers, Encouragement, friends, Life, Love, People, promises, searching, Uncategorized, Writing

Don’t Listen

dana2day

Don’t you hate it when your feelings boss you and they are so convincing that you are sucked into every word they shout at you. Before you know it, you’ve travelled down a road that you would never intentionally put one of your freshly pedicured and painted toes on! I hate it when I open the Pandora’s box of unsubstantiated, yet seemingly believable truth. My new favorite quote is “Don’t let your feelings boss you.” from Ruth Chou Simons. But somehow, while I like the truth in those six words, I don’t always hold fast to this mantra.

Even after I lay awake last night, listening to the thoughts in my head, slowly being sucked into the pit of melancholy that loomed before me, I struggled to get free from the cloud that hung over me. Why was I here, yet again. I’ve learned in the past that I cannot believe the truths I formulate because I let hurt feelings, or negative thoughts about myself grow bigger and bigger in my mind, and yet here I was again.

Before you judge me, or roll your eyes at my being a bit dramatic, let me ask you this question: Have you ever felt that twinge in your stomach, or constricting in your throat over someone’s words, or possibly a Facebook or Instagram post? Maybe you are struggling with the place you are in your life right now. Perhaps, you have a dream unrealized. Any of these things can cause you to have thoughts that cause you emotional pain. And then you find yourself listening to the lies of the enemy take advantage of your vulnerability.

Then I did what I usually do….I cried out….loudly….to Jesus. Asking Him to stop the noise in my head and lead me to the real truth. And He did.

5 For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit. 6 For the outlook of the flesh is death, but the outlook of the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6

I could go on and on about the piercing truth in these words. It powerfully points out the very thing that clouds our minds and causes us to not see clearly, to not hear His voice, to get so wrapped up in our own heads that we cannot experience His presence or His truth! Even when we think we are not living according to the flesh, we are. When we wrap our hands tightly around our phones and fill our eyes, our minds, our flesh with videos, pictures, memes, posts as we scroll for hours. Or maybe we take those words we heard in a conversation, or manipulate situations in our lives, or allow our thoughts about ourselves to go south because the world tells us there is no good thing about who we are. All of these are part of this world trying to shape our outlook. But if we……if I am who I say I am….when this path unfolds before me as I lie in bed replaying thoughts over and over, I need to STOP, remember who I am, remember who saved me, remember who has been faithful to me everyday since I surrendered to His calling me, and mostly remember who is shaping my outlook. Because I am a child of God, I have His Spirit living inside me, which means I have the power to step away from these thoughts and allow His Spirit to shape my outlook, not this world. The outlook of the Spirit is life and it is peace. And that is what I want….peace. That is what I want more than anything, that even at this time of my life, I am still being shaped by the Spirit of God.

So sweet friends, if you have stuck with me this far, take a deep breath and face those hurt feelings, those negative thoughts, those flesh shaped outlooks and let God shape your outlook and fill you with life and peace.

friends, God, Laughter, Life, Love, People, promises, searching, seasons, Uncategorized

We Should Wait

dana2day

It’s the little things in life, isn’t it. Those baby steps forward to realizing a dream. Friday we took one of those baby steps. I was out spending some time with my oldest daughter. We decided to take a walk-about in our favorite…Whitehouse Antiques (I’ve been watching a series called “800 Words” about an Australian writer living in New Zealand. Hence the Aussie phrase walk-about….I like it.). For those of you who are in the dark about this sweet little place, let me enlighten you. It is a conglomerate of booths inside a rather unobtrusive, green building with the simple words Whitehouse on the outside. This simple treasure filled happy place abounds with the most amazing farmhouse, antique, creative items that will leave you breathless…….that may be a bit excessively descriptive, but I do find I feel a little lightheaded with all the possibilities that are packed into every booth. Anyway, I have gotten sidetracked about the baby step we took on Friday. I strolled through the aisles, trying not to fall too deep in the pit of my “wants” when I saw them. Two perfectly matched, oversized nightstands painted the same color as my king size bed….also purchased from this glory land of repurposed treasures. My hand went to my throat,I had finally found what I have spent months, no, years really, trying to find. I quickly took a picture, held my breath as I sent it with a text to my sweet husband. I’m not gonna lie, I prayed. They were just the right price (at least I thought they were). But I knew, he would have to agree and I knew that might be my dilemma. It’s all in the timing, people. It’s all about the stars and the planets being aligned perfectly. That may seem a little dramatic, but I know the common answer I might get and I didn’t want to hear that today. I waited for his response. I start to feel a little warm as I anticipated his answer. Suddenly my phone rang. It was him. This couldn’t be good. I answered, bracing myself for his answer of “We should wait.” A little history here. We’ve been married for close to 33 years. And in those 33 years I have heard this statement so many times, that I have often found myself being rather sarcastic by telling him “we should wait” when he is talking about buying something like food or shaving cream. I know, I’m not proud of it. But this day was different. It was a monumental day. I heard him saying “Yes! Those look great, go ahead and get them before someone else does.” All I could say was “Really?” Then of course, that was quickly followed by “Okay! Bye!” And I hung up before he could change his mind. I walked quickly to the front of Whitehouse and bought those nightstands…..I was literally breathless! We were taking a long awaited baby step to my dream. My dream of decorating my room like one of those Pinterest pictures…..or as my Mom used to say “Like a magazine.” We picked up the nightstands on Saturday morning and brought them home. I was almost giddy. He was so enthusiastic. I quickly moved the small chest on my side of the bed that I bought for $40.00 about 15 years ago at a roadside junk store, then went to his side of the bed and moved, now brace yourself, the old Singer sewing machine cabinet that was turned around backwards and had been serving as his nightstand for the last 15 or so years. I won’t even go into what we used before that. We slid the new (to us) nightstands into place and stood back to admire our baby step. Then I heard my big guy say “I’ve never had a real nightstand before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had anything like nightstand before the sewing machine cabinet” I laughed….but then realized, I don’t think I have ever had one either. We have been married for nearly 33 years and have never “decorated” our room before. We’ve bought new bedding and we bought a new bed and dresser about 24 years ago, graduating from his old dresser and my parents old bed. We had put it off year after year because we were busy raising our baby girls and there were other necessities needed. Besides, no one ever saw our room anyway. But now. Here we are with a new (to us) king size bed frame….painted off-white….a king size mattress we bought 4 years ago and now we have matching nightstands…also painted off-white. We are very excited. Why, because it’s the little things….it’s the baby steps toward our dreams that make life fun. It’s finding re-purposed treasures in places you’ve been a hundred times. It’s realizing that the wait is worth it. It’s knowing that my big guy is in there right now, sleeping soundly with his new nightstand right beside him. It’s me realizing that sometimes “we should wait” for the right time.

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The Hard Thing.

dana2day

Doing the hard thing is never, hear me on this, it is never the easy thing. I know this from personal experience. Most recently I had to make a very, very hard decision. It cost me sleepless nights, lots of tears, distraction and a very reluctant step forward into what I believe God led me to do. It would have been easier to continue in what I had been doing for a long time. Because of my passion in this area, I had to wait for a “sign” on which direction to go. Sometimes, even in the things we love, the things we are committed to doing, the things we are called to do, we find ourselves in a place of having to step aside from that thing we love….maybe only for a time, but maybe forever. It’s not God’s sick joke of calling us, then snatching away that very thing he has called us to. It’s about obedience. Doing the hard thing, when we know it’s what we are supposed to do. For those 2 months I struggled, analyzed, and wavered, I was anxious and in turmoil over the right decision all the time. Then I told God to please let one of the people I trusted to say something that would be like a huge “ding” going off in my head when I heard it. And, so it happened, in an unexpected moment, over a casual lunch, someone I love spoke truth to me in a calm and loving manner. I remember staring at them at a loss for words. In that moment, I knew it was the sign I asked for, and clarity and peace filled my heart and mind. I was able to make the decision, clearly verbalize my thoughts and feelings to those involved, and step away in peace. Yes, my heart does still twinge when I think of how things will change. But now I am curious as to where God will lead me.

We humans are so fickle. We long for change or something new, then we struggle with everything in us when change occurs. We are distraught and afraid of what the change will bring in our lives. But once the change happens, we act like it was the best thing ever! I believe that God uses change in our lives, sometimes, to make us seek hard after Him, to learn about obedience, and to trust Him on another level.

So here I am. Finally at peace. No longer struggling. Curious as to what is next. Thankful He hears and sees me, and responds to me in all the details of my life. He has proven to me once again, He is faithful.

answers, corona, covid19, Encouragement, friends, God, Laughter, Life, Love, People, promises, searching, seasons, Uncategorized

Finding Joy Again

dana2day

It’s 11:15pm and I cannot sleep. I decided to get up and write down what is swirling around in my head.

Tonight I went to dress rehearsal for our Christmas at the Corner program at our church. Technically it is our second dress rehearsal, as last night we were joined by our children’s choirs, Surrender student choir and the Amazing Grey’s Senior adult choir. It’s been awhile since we’ve done this…..it seems like years. Last night and tonight, I felt joy swelling up in my heart as I listened and sang words celebrating Jesus and the reason for His coming to live with us, for the sacrifice He made for us on the cross, all because of God’s love for us. Joy. Everywhere I have turned in the last weeks, this word has resonated in the scriptures I have read and in the music I have listened to. But tonight I realized that the joy that was filling up that sanctuary was new. It was joy returning to our hearts and our lives. We were getting it…..we were feeling it.

A year and a half ago joy began to be sucked out of the world, and fear began filling the places in our hearts that were becoming void of joy. And we let it happen. Believers who knew what the joy of the Lord looked like, what it felt like and what it tasted like, began to allow fear to fill their minds and lives. No more smiling, no more touching, no more worshipping together. Slowly an ever present sense of fear began to fill all the places of our lives. It was being forced on us from every direction. It was mandated to us, along with masks and an endless flow of media. It divided us. And we let it happen. Churches became vacant and closed their doors. Yes, to follow the rules and to protect their people, but we also closed the doors to our homes. And we hid. Fearful. Joyless.

We unplugged from our faith families and we plugged into the world’s view of this new environment we lived it. We believed everything that was fed to us. We ended our relationship with gathering together. We stopped any kind of fellowshipping with other believers. And we waited for the new truth to tell us when we could be set free. And we continued to let it happen.

Christmas 2020 was dark. People still fearful. Masks still mandated. The world continued to yell at us. It was a joyless time that is normally a time of celebration for all believers to focus on the real reason for this season, the birth of the Messiah, our hope. We remembered the season, but we didn’t celebrate. We were still hiding. Joy seemed so far away.

But then something began to happen in 2021. We took off our masks. People began to turn off the continued rhetoric from the world, and we turned our minds to God. The almighty God, more powerful than any virus, stronger than any mask, more trustworthy than any government. We began to understand how to navigate through this time, respecting others and putting our faith and trust back where it belonged….in God.

But the effects of the last twenty-one months has taken it’s toll. People still struggle with fear. A fear they can’t shake. A fear that has now taken up residence in their hearts. People who once were faithful to church, now prefer streaming. People who once stood shoulder to shoulder with other believers lifting their voices in worship, now find themselves unable to return to their pre-pandemic way of life. For some, joy has left them.

But tonight, as I stood in the choir singing as loud as I could, I found great joy in singing about the birth of Jesus, about what He did for us on the cross, for the hope He gives us, for saving me and loving me that much! I looked at the faces around me and I saw the joy on their faces. Something warm and fuzzy was churning deep in my soul. Joy! I didn’t even know I missed it! I didn’t even realize that what the world had been trying to take away from us was the unexplainable, amazing inner joy that permeates the soul of a person when they understand who God is, what He did for them, how they can never do anything to be good enough to spend eternity with God except for asking for forgiveness and being completely forgiven. The joy of a Savior that gets us, and walks with us, and provides for us, and loves us unconditionally. Not happiness, people. But joy. Knowing He will never leave you or forsake you joy! Being made new and feeling it from the inside out kind of joy! The knowledge that God is in control kind of joy! Bigger than all the evil in this world kind of joy. Joy that can’t be adequately explained.

People. If you know Jesus as your personal Savior. If you have experienced that moment when you realized you were a sinner, and you confessed your sin and asked for forgiveness, then asked Jesus into your life forever and always. You know joy!

So I challenge all of you, break free, breathe in Jesus and experience the joy of this season! Our season. Our time to focus in on the reason for this season. Tell your children what real joy is. Tell your friends what real joy is. Tell your family what real joy is. Take yourselves to church this Sunday and surround yourself with other believers, sing as loud as you can, soak up the words the Lord gives your pastor, wear a mask if it makes you feel better, but find JOY once again.

“Weeping may spend the night (or 21 months) but there is joy in the morning.”

Psalm 30:5b

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I Choose Contentment

dana2day

I deleted my Facebook from my phone this morning. Self-preservation, I guess. Why? Let me give you the scenerio. I woke up at 7:30am, and after slowly easing into another day, I reached for my phone. Quite honestly, I was checking to see if I had any text messages, which of course I didn’t. I quickly found the blue icon with the “f” in the center and proceeded to scroll. If we all were honest, most of us start our days this way. Maybe not lying in bed, but somewhere in your morning, or throughout your day, you find yourself scrolling. I looked at pictures of fun vacations, of dinners, of children, of parties, new babies and various memes. While I was happy to see all the pictures of people I know well, and loved seeing what is going on in other’s lives, I could feel my mood begin to change directions…..the direction of a pit that I often find myself standing over or swimming in. Unhealthy thoughts began to circle in my mind and within fifteen minutes or so, I was neck deep in the pit. I recognized the heaviness that was coming over my mindset and I tried to pull free from it. But instead, I chose to swim deeper in the pit. My thoughts took off in a direction that I know well, but try hard to stay clear of. “Why don’t I have friends? (I do have friends, this is obviously a lie from Satan) How come I am not included? What is wrong with me? Is there something about myself that I’m not realizing?” There are many more, but I will save you the agony of knowing the thoughts that hang out in my head! I spent the next hour allowing myself to begin to believe the lies of the enemy. Facebook enables this….really…..let’s be honest. It makes us think that we are not likable, or that our lives are boring or pointless. We feel excluded. We focus on what we don’t have. It’s all subconciously, at first, of course. But then it slowly eats away at our heart, and we pull away from people, becoming unhappy with everything in our lives. It creates discontentment in every area of our life. Or, maybe it’s just me that struggles with these thoughts. I don’t believe Facebook is of Satan, or was created by Satan. But I do believe he uses it in the lives of people to create discontentment. It allows us, and yes I am as guilty as anyone, to post pictures of perfect lives, surrounded by friends or family. When in truth, none of us are perfect, nor do we have perfect lives.

I got ready for the day, I ate breakfast and sat on the couch looking at my phone. Not scrolling. Just staring at the road to my pit. Then I heard a still small voice in my spirit, “Why do you return again and again to what causes you such discontent?” I sat there thinking, “I don’t know.” I put my phone down. And prayed. Then I picked up my Bible. The Lord led me to scripture that my mind and heart needed. Not that I didn’t know these scriptures. But I needed reminding.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Philippians 4:11 “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”

As I read through these scriptures, my heart changed directions. This was truth. This is what I wanted more than anything. More than being included. More than having more friends. More than a perfect life. More than being thin. More than being beautiful. More than being liked by people, including family and friends. I want to be content in who I am….in my life….in my relationships. Who needs anything more than a relationship with Jesus. God hears me. He understands me. He loves me. He reminds me, when I have done a belly flop into my pit of discontentment, that He is all I need. His truth is all I need.

As a side note, let me tell you about a conversation that my husband and I had recently as we were on one of our rides around the area. I was telling him about someone, and I am ashamed to say I said this, but I said “they’re weird” to which he replied “We’re weird, Dana”. I was so offended! “We’re not weird! I’m not weird! Why are we weird?” I love this man…..he just puts things in perspective. He proceeded to tell me that yeah, we don’t have a lot of friends, we don’t hang out with people every week, and it’s probably because we are weird. He continued by letting me know that everyone is weird….to someone. I just stared at him….then I folded my arms and looked out my window…..then I said…..”I’m not weird.” He just laughed. But sadly, he’s right. We are all weird to someone. But I digress.

The point of this story is we must choose contentment…..that last verse says “for I have learned.” I have learned, according to my big guy, that we are weird. It was a little unnerving, a little disconcerting, but a little eye opening also. Weird is relative. Everyone’s definition of weird is different…..well mostly. I choose contentment. I will need to remind myself often that I am choosing contentment. There are so many good things in my life.

So, let me ask you, do you struggle with discontentment? Do you look at everyone else’s lives and think yours is boring, uneventful, missing something? Do you always long for something else? Make a healthy choice today, first to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ, and second to find contentment in every situation. Do not let the posts of someone else be your gauge in your self worth. Find comfort in His grace, it is sufficient for you. Strive to be transformed, not to conform to what others have. And choose contentment in every situation in your life.

P.S. I added Facebook back on tonight. But I am going to limit my time spent in scrolling through the posts. It’s about discipline. It’s about making a wise choice. It’s also about seeing my grandbabies’ pictures!!

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Words of Encouragement Are Never Wasted Words

dana2day

Today I attended the funeral of a sweet man. Every Sunday, without fail he would greet us at some point, whether it was as I entered church with my family, or scurried in late looking for a seat. He would walk up beside me, or one of my daughters, and give myself or them a side hug and then inconspicuously hand off a peppermint or pack of gum, then give us a wink as he moved on. He was faithful, he was enthusiastic and he was perceptive of who needed a little encouragement.

At the end of the service I was walking slowly up the aisle to leave and I spotted a precious lady in conversation who I love, respect and admire. She is a beautiful woman, full of energy and a zest for life. She is creative, and industrious and her home looks like a Southern Living Magazine. I saw her catch my eye as if she planned to say something, but finished her conversation. As I was about to pass her, she reached out and began to encourage me about something she read in my blog. I was caught off guard, forgetting that these things I write here are actually read by others…..not just me exercising my thoughts in life. She looked into my eyes and said “You are a writer, Dana. I love what you you said in your blog.”. My heart warmed. Just when I thought this silly writing dream was a waste of energy and time……that I really don’t have any talent…..or direction…..or validation for this thing I love to do. God tapped me on the shoulder and used someone I long to be like to whisper words of encouragement to this often melancholy heart. Writers are weird people who are constantly in a state of putting words and sentences together to create something that tells a story, or describes a moment or changes the heart of the reader. They long for validation, but struggle with creating something worthy to be read by others. The sad truth is the work of most writers will never see the light of day, much less make it to publication. But they keep on writing.

So today, I received a gift. Encouraging words from someone who read what I wrote and felt the emotion and meaning behind the words. Thank you sweet lady for blessing me. You are a jewel. God used you in my life today.

God is paying attention to us and He knows our hearts, our dreams, our hopes…..and He knows when we need to know that what we love to do isn’t a waste of time. He cares enough to encourage us through unexpected words from others. So don’t hesitate the next time you feel the need to inspire someone with supportive words…..God may be using you to tend a dream in someone’s life.