I’m tired. Tired of tryng to be liked. Tired of being on the outside. Tired of longing for friendships that never evolve. Tired of not being good enough to be in the inner circle. Tired of feeling like I’m not important. Tired of wishing I would be noticed. Tired of feeling like I blend with the wallpaper. I want it to NOT to matter that I don’t have any friends that are no more than surface friends. I literally can only think of 3 close friends that I have had for the past 20 years….2 live in other states and the other lives on the other side of town. At church, there many surface friendships….the kind where you smile and say hey and how are you, but never anymore than that. I stand on the outside, watching all the little social groups enjoying each others company, hugging, laughing, talking about their plans for trips together, time together, and I walk on by, disappearing. Its rather discouraging….I shouldn’t let it get to me….I should be content with Jesus and my family. I know I should. I know I want to be.
Published by dana2day
"About you"? It is hard to declare any one thing or even a few things that would be of any interest to anyone! I love God. I know that I am His child, and I waver between being totally overwhelmed with His love, grace and mercy in my life, to being overwhelmed with how fast life is passing and how bad a job I have done at living this life He has given me. I often wonder if anyone else is out there walking around trying to act normal (which, if I may insert here, is really a relative term to everyone...what is normal?). About me? I am complicated! I love God with all my heart and want to serve Him with all my heart and want to do something important with all my heart and yet, this life I live everyday, doesn't seem to line up with that. More than anything - I want to be a published writer. I want to have the time to go to places that are surrounded by the sound of crashing waves and breezes and just listen. Or, to sit on a deck of some remote cabin and listen to the whisper of God's voice in the trees. I wonder.....I wonder if those moments will ever come? View all posts by dana2day