Nearly 50 and not loving it!


So today I received yet another reminder that I’m just getting older!  My sweet, dear, precious (gag) husband recorded me on his phone in the wee hours of the morning….snoring!  Humiliating is the only word I can come up with.  You can surmise that I have now had a dark cloud of “mully-grubs and can’t-help-its” hanging over my, dare I admit it, graying head!  I rode to work in a cloud (or was that the fog that had settled on West Mobile this morning, I don’t know!).  In 5 short, very, very short months, I will ungracefully fall into that monumental crossover into “old”.  How the heck did this happen to me!  I remember, just a short time ago, looking at people who were or slightly over 50 and think, wow, it must stink to have your life more than 1/2 over!  How insensitive of me! 

I feel my size 6 1/2 foot (can I say here, it was  only 5- 5 1/2 when I married 21 years ago….another reason for the cloud to darken!) beginning to dig in deep to avoid February 6th! 

I sat at the light at Schillinger & Grelot this morning and looked over at this little gray haired lady and thought “Yep, thats me in about 5 years….life is over.”  Even now, inside my head I only feel like 30, but I look in the mirror and see a fat, over the hill, hair graying, chin like a gobbler, eyelids sagging, lines around the lips old woman!  I want to jump in my car and run far far away….but then, I’ll still be there.

There are so many things I wanted to accomplish.  So many things I wanted to be good at.  So many places I wanted to see.  I know I sound like I’ll be dead soon, who knows, but if the next 20 go as fast as the last 20, then heck, I’ll be dead sooner than you think! 

It’s really not fair, you know.  By the time you get this age, you are starting to figure things out, starting to be okay with things that used to drive you crazy, start to look at the world in a different way, then you realize you are almost done with this world.  The one consolation….I get to see Jesus sooner than some!  🙂

3 thoughts on “Nearly 50 and not loving it!

  1. Johnny Coggin says:

    Hey Dana,

    You should be on this side looking BACK at 50! Actually, it’s not so bad. When I look at the way God has blessed me with His Grace, a faithful wife who loves me, and 4 wonderful children who love and serve the Lord, how could I not be thankful for every day, week, year, decade….well, you get it?

    You too have been abundantly blessed. You have a wonderful dad, brother and sister, and the memories of a mom who loved you dearly. And even though he’s a big ol’ Aubbie, you have a wonderful husband who loves you above all in this world. Then there are your girls! Man, you are so blessed!

    So get up outta that pit and “count your blessings” and be thankful that you “get to” be 50! Now that all my kids are married and I have 2 grandchildren, I wanta live to be 100 and play with all the grands and great-grands! God is good…

    BJ

    Like

    • Sadly, Johnny, it is February 10th and I am just reading this comment you put on my blog on October 30th!!!! But, I couldn’t have needed it more than just 4 short days AFTER turning 50! There were no fireworks, no surprise party, no suddenly feeling O-L-D….just a day filled with birthday wishes and a wonderful lunch planned by oldest wonderful daughter with family and friends. Lynn is away in the Czech and was greatly missed! I am taking it all in stride and finding that being 50 is a state of mind…..I can choose to be old or choose to be young! I choose young! I’m looking forward to the future and days of planning weddings and holding grandbabies! Thanks for your big brother words of wisdom…you’re the greatest! Love you and Linda like family!
      Dana

      Like

  2. Daphne Berg says:

    Girl….. I just read this. You better get out from under that rain cloud! You are not old and your life is definitely not over! Your best is still yet to come. Think ahead a few years… daughters graduating college and high school, daughters getting married, bunches of grandbabies, retirement, that is if any of us still have jobs, and lots more. You are just getting started! Think of all that wisdom you have to share with people that are struggling with something you’ve already went through! Yeah, yeah, I know our bodies are getting worn out but our minds aren’t. You still have a lot to give girl, you better not give up!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.