I’m in a weird place today….it seems I run to writing when I am in pain, when I am confused, when I am pensive (don’t you just love that word!). Heck, I just run to writing to keep breathing normally, to keep from jumping off of a tall building, to stop myself from jumping in my car and driving off into the sunset! But today, I am experiencing something that I have never experienced before….a deep, painful mourning for a friend. I have read about people who mourn the loss of a loved one so deeply that their hearts feel as if they are breaking. I have read of people who fall deep into depression because of someone they love experiencing life altering circumstances. I have read of a culture in which they rip their clothes in mourning over the death of someone they love. Even for myself, I have cried buckets of tears when I am alone over the loss of my sweet mother! But this pain deep in my heart, this aching that is causing me physical discomfort today, these tears that I am trying NOT to shed while I sit at my desk at work is threatening to overwhelm me!
My friend has believed the lies of the enemy. She has believed the lies in a way I never thought possible. The person I once knew has been bound, gagged and sedated and in her place is an imposter! She looks like my friend. She laughs like my friend. But she is not the same person. I love this friend deeply. But I am lamenting her decision to trade the truth for lies. There is nothing I can say or do to change her decision. But. I will continue to love her. I will continue to pray for her.