New Direction…..

I stood in the parking lot of our church yesterday listening to a lady I’ve known from afar for years as she shared her excitement over attending a writers conference in a few short weeks.  I listened as she went on and on, and I thought, I have known this woman for probably twenty years.  Well, not actually known, but someone I have  seen, or chatted with occasionally.  In a large church, there are those people that you see Sunday after Sunday, and even on those in between Wednesdays, but you don’t know their history, their dreams, their struggles.  I did not know she wanted so deeply to be a published writer.  But she knows that I write.  She knows that I have been published in Lifeway Sunday School lessons and Student devotionals.  She has initiated conversation before, and I have talked with her, and vaguely knew she was a writer.  She said she had mountains of notebooks of things she has written, and how she was frustrated with formatting her writings on her computer.  I realized she was pretty serious about this whole thing.  She was writing all the time.

I rode home in silence as my 15 year old sang to songs on the radio and looked at her phone.  I pondered over my own pipe dream to be published.  And, yet, I don’t write.  Not much anymore.  I don’t know if it is out of frustration or out of rebellion.  Frustration with the constant rejection or lack of time to concentrate on this craft.  Or rebellion against writing at all because it seems useless.   At any rate, I read back over postings on my blog, wondering if there was any theme to my posting.  I don’t know if there needs to be a theme.  But there needs to be something.  Something consistent.  The clock is ticking away and the days are falling into years and I have yet to realize my dream.

I have decided to spend more time on this blog.  Whether anyone reads it or not.  It would be good exercise….and maybe even motivation.  But, I need to have some kind of ongoing theme…for awhile anyway.   So, in thinking about it over the last 24 hours, I think I will begin to write the stories of my life when I saw God’s hand doing something.

If you are reading this, THANK YOU!!  And I hope you will continue to read.

Life, People, Uncategorized, Writing

God to the rescue….

A lot. Yes a lot goes on inside my head. There are a million
things I want to accomplish but there is never enough time.
Yesterday I was on the way to work, sliding on that familiar
slope of hatin’ on myself. Hatin’ that I am getting older,
time is passing quickly and I don’t seem to have accomplished
anything of real importance. Throw in the fact that I don’t
feel like I’m doing anything of eternal value, and yes, you
can imagined I was sliding down that slope fast, headed
straight for the pit! Suddenly I heard the words flowing out
of the radio, words of affirmation, words that said God wasn’t
done with my story, words that touched me in a place that
only God knows is some time painful. He heard my cry
before I even let it slip from my lips. He heard the words
rolling around inside my head. He felt the tears burning
my eyes and the lump rising in my throat. He. The God who
sent His Son to die for me, the creator of the universe, heard me.
Me. Insignificant,inconsistent, frustrated, self-condemning,
discontented me. He ran beneath me like a safety net, scooping me
up from my downward spiral and carefully put my feet back on
solid ground. I felt Him reassuring me that the story He
has written for my life is just beginning to unfold. Hope.
Now I have hope. Now I have anticipation. Now I have
expectation. Only God could have and would have
intervened for this girl….this woman….this child of His.