If I could truly have a wish this Mother’s Day, I would wish to have my own Mom back. Sitting close beside me on her couch, magazine in her lap, nail file in her hand shaping her already perfect nails and softly laughing as we talk. She’d reach over and take my hand and begin shaping my nails, telling me I should slow down and take time for a manicure. But she is not here to wrap her arms around me, to rub my back as she holds me, whispering in my ear that everything will be okay and that He is in control.
What I want this Mother’s day is not a fancy dinner, it’s not jewelry or a gift card. I want grace. A boat load of it. Grace that covers the million mistakes I made over the last twenty-five years. Grace that covers the ridiculous idea that I had to do everything right in order for my daughters to turn out right. Grace that covers too many times I gave into the frustration and yelled at them. Grace that erases my inconsistencies and my unrealistic ideas. Grace that would replace my mistakes with perfect responses and patient replies. Grace that would take my lame attempts at teaching them the Word of God and turn them into precious moments that ingrained a deep desire to follow after Him their entire lives. Grace for the moments I collapsed in an overwhelmed heap of tears and cried out to Him asking Him to fix something. I need more grace….and maybe a bubble bath.