I Must Be Getting Older…

I’ve had many moments lately where the realization of the fact that I am getting older has slapped me around and left me dazed!  I find myself driving to work in the mornings thinking about my life and wondering what extraordinary thing I can do to make a difference in this world before I leave it.  I wonder what it is I am here for…….that’s not a complete sentence, but I don’t know any other way to say it!  I went to camp a week ago with over 100 students ages 13-18.  It was all good till about Thursday!  I woke up feeling every bit of 55!  When we returned it took a couple days to recover.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I hate being hindered by achy muscles and joints.  I am watching my youngest become a young woman and flex her independence a bit and I feel the ache in my heart as I realize the time is near for her to pull away and step out into the world.  I look into the faces of the precious girls in my Sunday School class and wonder if the time is drawing near that they would enjoy and benefit more from someone younger and cooler.  I wonder about where I am in life and if God wants me to go in a different direction or if He still has a plan for my life.  Fifty-five is a weird place to be, heck so far all of the 50’s have been weird.  Filled with contemplation and realization.  I feel out of place.  I feel like I’m not sure where I go from here!  I wonder if anyone out there ever feels this same way!