I hate when you wake up in the early morning hours from a bad dream….the kind that drags you back to some scarring experience in your childhood and plays it over and over in your mind adding dynamics that increase the pain you already are familiar with when the nightmare swirls around in your memory. That was this morning. Waking up to bad memories…memories that while they are part of my life, I would rather completely forget them. Memories that stir up fear in my spirit. I tried to ignore the dream and ignore the dark clouds gathering. These memories are like the first drops of water in a gushing avalanche of water. I know how this can go. I’ve forgiven. I’ve moved on. I’ve broken free. Yet memories cannot be erased. I got in my car headed to work and turned the radio on. Breathe, Dana, just breathe. I prayed, “Lord, intercede for me. I don’t even know what to pray, but I know you know what’s going on in my head and my heart right now. I don’t want my day, my thoughts or my attitude to be affected by these memories. Help me. “ I rode toward work, KLove playing in the background softly. I continued to pray. Then the words of a song pierced the gloominess….
“Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now
Love’s healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one”
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
‘Cause your story’s far from over
And your journey’s just begun
The Lord knows me so well. He knows what will cut through the darkness, He knows what will remind me of who I am, He knows how to speak right to heart right where I am. I fall in love with Him all over again as I realize He sees me….He hears me. Because I don’t care who you are, what you believe, what you are going through, you have to know that God orchestrates such moments to speak to us….in a real, audible voice. That song at that moment snatched me from the screaming voices of the enemy around me and pulled me into the light of truth. He is my healer. He is my provider. He is my Father. He does hear me. He does see me. And He thought I was important enough to play that song at that moment for me.
Dana2day 