I love you, Daddy!

I am sitting here in a room located on the hospice floor at Providence listening to the labored breathing of my Daddy, holding my own breath every time he pauses for the next breath.  I look at his frail frame, so thin and covered by a blanket with the Air Force emblem on it and I wonder how we got here. Wasn’t he just teaching me to drive a stick shift like two days ago?  Didn’t he just teach me to ride a bike a week ago?   Wasn’t it last year that I watched him holding my first daughter and his first granddaughter with that huge smile on his face?  It seems like we were just enjoying our weekly Daddy/Daughter lunch at some local restaurant.  And here we are, just he and I, alone, as I watch him slip away bit by bit.  Part of me wishes for time to roll back and us to enjoy one more lunch together and the other part wishes for this moment to move forward and be done, knowing he will see Jesus and my precious Mom.  I imagine her waiting patiently yet with great anticipation at heavens gates, knowing he’s almost there, while he is caught between that promised moment of absent from this body and present with the Lord and clinging to those last minutes of life here on earth.  He is about to go home.  My sweet Daddy loved Jesus and looked forward to seeing all that He promised on the other side.  One memory I will take with me from these days and cherish in my heart till I step over that great divide between this world and glory, happened two days ago.  I sat holding his hand in his room, and he opened his eyes and smiled at me, and mouthed “I love you” looking at me intently and then winked at me and nodded his head.  Then he closed his eyes and squeezed my hand with strength that contrasted his physical state.   He didn’t release his grip until I slipped my hand from his to leave.  I know I’ll see him again one day.  He’s about to go to a celebration just for him in a place he’s been waiting to see for a long time.  Thank you Daddy for loving me and teaching me what was important in life: Jesus and family! Thank you for loving my sweet husband and always telling him how proud you were of him.  Thank you for being Papa to my girls, you loved your times with them and they’ll miss you so much.  I love you Daddy.   Oh…..and tell Mom I said hey, I miss her so much and I love her!