2:48 AM. The last time I looked at the clock this morning. Here I sit. Awake. Miserable. All because of a large unsweet tea from Foosacklys. That’s right. I’ve been robbed of blissful slumber because I can’t handle my caffeine. I admit it. What was I thinking? That’s the problem, I wasn’t. I just rode through that drive-thru with my daughter, chatting away, ordering dinner, and as bold as a twenty-something, I ordered a LARGE unsweet tea with my meal. I’m 58 years old and I know that I cannot consume anything caffeinated after 5:00pm! I admire those people that can guzzle coffee or tea, or even devour chocolate at any given time of the day and not suffer from sleep deprivation! The sad part of this saga, is I have lay in my bed for the last 4 hours straining to go to sleep, my eyes feeling like sandpaper, but my mind running in five different directions all at once! I have redecorated soon to be vacated bedrooms, organized things to do for a ministry kick-off, planned rehearsals and costumes for student choir, sent out texts to people (and that should be interesting when they get up and read the time I sent them), reviewed details for a meeting I need to have on Thursday, planned out how to help two of my daughters get settled in their new houses over the next two weeks, hold on, I’m not done yet, made notes of editing I need to do on my childrens book, chided myself for not being more disciplined about dieting, planned Christmas gifts for family members, planned dinner for tomorrow, I mean today, made a list on my phone of anything and everything I need to do in the coming days with neat little check off circles so I can feel good about myself when I check them off, and considered what kind of things we want to do on the Alaskan cruise we’re planning for next year. I’m just going stop right here. There are probably twenty more items I could add to that list. Now you see why I just surrendered and got up, I mean I had already started writing this blog entry in my head, so why not just get up and go ahead and put it in black and white! Why not, I’m awake, right? Did I mention in that crazy, chaotic thinking, I was counting forward twenty years to 78 and wondering if I’d be still kicking! I mean, who knew I’d get to 58 so fast, and still feel 38 in my head? The last 20 years have flown by so fast, I’m sure I’ll wake up tomorrow, if I ever go to sleep, and be 78! I won’t be drinking any tea after 5:00pm, you can bet on that!
So, as I get ready to post this and try to leave you with something spiritual to chew on, check out this verse I found during my sleeplessness:
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
I think that’s a sweet promise. A promise that if we will quit trying to plan, make lists, re-think our lives or even plan out the next twenty years, we can know a peace that passes all understanding, we CAN lie down and sleep, for in His arms we are safe, knowing He is our Lord, our Father, our Savior, our Provider, our Redeemer, our Healer, our Everything! I think I’ll sign off now, and go lie down and sleep. He is such a sweet and loving Father to give me this verse in my delirious, caffeine induced insomnia. He is bigger than my sleeplessness!!! Goodnight!