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What’s the next step?


Since my rant on “I’m in a weird place” and my 2:48am episode with caffeine induced sleeplessness, things have calmed down.  This is the first week I have started to get a picture of the next season of life.  I mean, not fully, but a glimpse maybe.  Monday was Labor Day and my big guy and I just hung out around the house, then spontaneously went out to dinner.  Yesterday I cleaned our bathroom from top to bottom, pretty much. I cleaned our bedroom.  I cleaned the kitchen.  Then I chatted with our 20 year old when she came home from her grown-up job.  Today a friend rode with me to the wedding venue where my baby girl is going to get married to measure a few things.  We had lunch.  Then back home.  Chill.  That is a good word for the last few days.  I’m trying to figure out a schedule, or plan or something for this season of life.  It feels strange to not be working, not be running children somewhere, to not be planning dinner, washing mountains of clothes.  But I am trying to gather my thoughts.  MY thoughts.  MY plans.  Trying to find who I am now that I won’t be helping, nurturing, feeding, chauffeuring, disciplining, clothing, and parenting busy, loud, beautiful daughters anymore.   I’ve spent the last 28 years happily being a Mom to 3 amazing young women.  But now, it’s time for me and this big guy I’ve been married to for the last 30 years (this month) to figure out what it is we want to do.  It’s time for me to figure out what I want to do.  It is time for me to sit down and be still and hear what God wants me to do in this next season.  I have to admit, I have a feeling of anticipation.  Not dread, not sadness, not lost or useless.  I feel like God has something cool in store, that this new season will be just as interesting and exciting as the last.  So.  Here we go!!!!

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