Well. I’ve been sitting here staring at this computer for about 45 minutes….determined to make myself write something. But I haven’t written in so long, I can’t seem to muster up anything that is even remotely interesting, motivating or inspirational. This is painful. My whole life I have longed to be a writer. I was in my 40’s before I even took a deep breath and referred to myself as a writer…..even then afraid someone would ask “So what have you written.” So mostly, my brain is dreaming up stories to write, devotionals to encourage or blog posts that might inspire. Then nothing.
Former students who I have taught in Bible Study have asked me to write a devotional for seniors or college age, but when I sit to write, I choke. I have no college degree, I have no theology degree, I have no experience. I feel like I have let them down too.
I have written a children’s chapter book. It is a faith based book about a club that helps others during their summer break. I’ve sent endless queries to a long list of literary agents who politely rejected me or just ignored me. I’ve peeked at self-publishing, but something in me needs the validation of a literary agent taking me on for publication. So that story sits in a file on my laptop, and a hard copy in file on my desk, and they both taunt me.
I think the biggest hurdle is twofold: Making myself sit and write and finding someone who will help me get published. And, now I add to my long list of excuses….getting older.
So, if you are out there reading this blog thinking, “Man, she’s pathetic.” Yes, I know that. I think I have skills, and maybe a wee bit of talent…..but I think I lack drive. Respond and give me advice. Tell me where to start. Tell me how to start (and don’t say “Just start writing” please!). I need a direction. I need possibilities. I need advice.