Tag: death

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A Special Visit

dana2day

My Mom came to visit me last night. I know you might be thinking “Awww, that’s sweet.” But you have to understand this, she died 18 years ago. She has only appeared in my dreams three times since she died.

It’s not like a scene from my childhood, or a specific memory of her. Not at all. I will be dreaming about something random and I will turn and she’s there, smiling, just as I remember her. No words. She always steps slowly forward and pulls me into a hug. I close my eyes and I feel the softness of her skin, the comfort of her arms around me, I breathe in deep, and even though I know I haven’t been able to smell anything for years, I breathe in her familiar perfume. My arms wrap tight around her waist as I bury my face in her neck and I am crying. That deep, painful kind of cry deep in your chest that makes it hard to breathe. I feel her kiss my hair as she rubs my back and smooths back my hair. I finally stop crying, but my chest aches and I know the tears will come again. She smiles at me and touches my face. No words. Just love. And then….I’m awake. My cheeks are wet from my tears. It had been so long since she came to visit me in my dreams. I needed one of her hugs. I needed to see her face, and there she was. So real. I hope she comes again soon. I miss her so much and want to sit next to her and be the daughter again and talk and laugh while she files my nails.

I am certain God sends these visits to me just when I need them most. He knows so well what we need and when we need it. I imagine (and this is just my imagination, because there is no theological or biblical support for this) that Jesus saw my heart, He knew what I needed before I did. He looked over at Mom and said, go on down there for just a moment, no words, just hug her and comfort her. Isn’t that just a sweet thought.

answers, corona, covid19, Encouragement, escape, friends, God, Life, Love, Mobile, People, promises, searching, seasons, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized

Day 13 of Encouragement During These Weird Times

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Romans 8:37-39 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

“Nor anything else in all creation”.  Those words really jumped out at me today.  I’ve read these verses so many times.  They are familiar to you as well, I am sure.  I have always found comfort in the fact that nothing, absolutely nothing could separate me from my relationship with God.  Nothing I could so personally.  Nothing in this world.  No disease. No virus.

We live in a world of uncertainty.  More than ever we are all feeling that truth.  We have modified our lives to avoid contracting a man made disease that has been released on us like some modern weapon.  We are functioning in a new normal.  It changes almost daily.    But “it” still cannot separate us from the love of God.

We are more than conquerors.  Because no matter what happens neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God.  We do not have to fear anything today, nor anything to come.  We do not have to tremble at the powers that rule over us.  We can know the peace that He offers.

So today.  Today close your eyes and take a deep breath.   Breath in God’s love and release all the tension, doubts, fears, weariness, anxiousness and concerns.  Allow the love of God to wrap around you like a warm blanket.  Accept His love.  Be secure in His love.  He is walking through this with us.  Trust Him.

Love y’all.

answers, cancer, Encouragement, escape, friends, God, Laughter, Life, Love, People, promises, searching, seasons, Uncategorized

A Year and a Half Ago

dana2day

I woke up this morning still tired after a night of sleeping and waking and thinking.  My life has changed so much in the last year and a half, and continues to change and move into a new season.  A year and a half ago I lost my job.  But it didn’t seem to matter so much because we were in the trenches of cancer and I was thankful to walk every step with my big guy, holding his hand, praying, listening, hoping.  After the “all clear” words came from the doctor, we went home and just sat in our living room quietly.  The words we had hoped for and prayed for had come.  Now for finding normal.  That was in May and life has continued to move forward as if the year of cancer never happened.  A year and a half ago we were welcoming a new grandson into our lives.  A year and a half ago we were in the midst of planning baby girl number two’s wedding.  A year and a half ago we lost my sweet Daddy.

I began keeping our new grandson when my daughter returned to teaching during this past year.  It has been a joy watching him grow and getting to love on him on a daily basis.  But this past August, when school began again, my daughter decided to put her boy in daycare in preparation for a second baby on the way.  I am told finding and getting into a good, reliable, and desirable daycare is both competitive and difficult.  I had no idea.  So he went to daycare after a year of staying with Lolly.  He loves it and has adapted quite easily.  My man cub is growing up too fast!

So, now, for the last two months I have been trying to figure out what next.  Yes, there are wedding plans still going on for baby girl number three, but that will be over in another thirty-nine days.  But then what?  I guess last night it was on my mind and I would go to sleep, dream, wake up, think about it for awhile, then start over again by filing asleep.  I’ve talked about getting a job, but I’m not sure if I’m even supposed to get a job right now.  I’ve prayed about it, and I get the sense from the Lord that I am exactly where he wants me to be for now.  I’m just having trouble adjusting, even after a year and a half.  I’m trying to find some routine.  I’m trying to write a little each day, even if it is just to blog a short piece.  I’m trying to figure out what the next step the Lord has for me.  I’m trying to establish a regular morning time with Him.  I even got out my daughter’s Kurig and am trying to drink coffee like a real grown up….decaf, of course!  The crazy thing is I can’t remember the last time I had quiet time like this in the mornings.  I’ve been raising baby girls for the last twenty-eight years.  I remember dreaming of slower mornings, peace and quiet, a clean house, time to write and here I am.

For now I will enjoy the peaceful and quiet mornings.  I will enjoy having time to spend with the Lord.  I will enjoy the slower pace.  Maybe I will eventually be able to write about my big guy and I going on adventures.  But today I’ll sip some decaf coffee and enjoy this rainy morning…..and maybe check my to do lists for the wedding, prepare my devotional to deliver to the students on Sunday afternoon, do some laundry, clean the kitchen, make the bed……

For anyone reading this blog, don’t stress over the season you are in at this moment.  If you have a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father, you are not alone.  He is with you.  He will walk with you and guide you.  He will listen to you as you tell Him about your concerns, your dreams, your life.  He truly cares.  Only He can wrap you in a peace that passes all understanding.