Doing the hard thing is never, hear me on this, it is never the easy thing. I know this from personal experience. Most recently I had to make a very, very hard decision. It cost me sleepless nights, lots of tears, distraction and a very reluctant step forward into what I believe God led me to do. It would have been easier to continue in what I had been doing for a long time. Because of my passion in this area, I had to wait for a “sign” on which direction to go. Sometimes, even in the things we love, the things we are committed to doing, the things we are called to do, we find ourselves in a place of having to step aside from that thing we love….maybe only for a time, but maybe forever. It’s not God’s sick joke of calling us, then snatching away that very thing he has called us to. It’s about obedience. Doing the hard thing, when we know it’s what we are supposed to do. For those 2 months I struggled, analyzed, and wavered, I was anxious and in turmoil over the right decision all the time. Then I told God to please let one of the people I trusted to say something that would be like a huge “ding” going off in my head when I heard it. And, so it happened, in an unexpected moment, over a casual lunch, someone I love spoke truth to me in a calm and loving manner. I remember staring at them at a loss for words. In that moment, I knew it was the sign I asked for, and clarity and peace filled my heart and mind. I was able to make the decision, clearly verbalize my thoughts and feelings to those involved, and step away in peace. Yes, my heart does still twinge when I think of how things will change. But now I am curious as to where God will lead me.
We humans are so fickle. We long for change or something new, then we struggle with everything in us when change occurs. We are distraught and afraid of what the change will bring in our lives. But once the change happens, we act like it was the best thing ever! I believe that God uses change in our lives, sometimes, to make us seek hard after Him, to learn about obedience, and to trust Him on another level.
So here I am. Finally at peace. No longer struggling. Curious as to what is next. Thankful He hears and sees me, and responds to me in all the details of my life. He has proven to me once again, He is faithful.